After-Effects

Prelims have ended. And the papers can be commented in the most typical way. Which is:
Hard.
Why?
Because it's that 'time'.

The fasting month.
Today marks the 16th day of fasting. We're halfway there before it ends.
And yes, i don't know about anyone else, but i felt that i was heavily tested on these last few days..

But what am i to say or do anything about it? It had been instilled in me the need to be patient and endurance during the day. Sometimes I feel like poping someone in the face.

The lack of proper nutrition and physical workout have resulted my body to experience something i hate most, that is to kena the flu. The last two days and 3 papers I've been sucking my nose and coughing like mad to the point of tasting blood on my tongue. But who cares! I might as well infect everyone while I'm at it. 1 more week of holiday right.

Oh yea, this morning, my right eye was effing red.. But i like it.

And not to mention the people around me. I mean, what's the use of fasting when one gets into the nerves.
Like the accusation of something or someone when they're never wrong, instead being just a contradiction.
Like calling others (i.e. elders) kurang ajar when they cause the trouble in the first place. Please la littlest brother, you're the most least taught and least qualified person in this group.
Like forcing someone to do things they never wanted. "Ive got 2 papers tomorrow and we'll be at JB THE WHOLE DAY!! WTH!"
Enough of that, I feel hurt already.

So, what is there to look forward to?
The screwing up of the prelims?
The A-levels?!
To say sorry to people on things I nvr do?
PJR? I suddenly no mood.
NS?!

I cannot say i can be optimistic about the future. It seems very bleak, and tough, and meaningless. I don't even know if i can implement the things I want to do after everything.
And what did I do?
About 4-5 hours ago, I let water freely flow out from my eyes.

Get this idea into your head.
There are things that you want, but you can't have it.
Yet, there are things that you can have, but you don't want it.
It is noble to pursue things that you have little chance of getting it, and to feel that what you have is not enough.

But there are also things that you want and can have it. But for some reason, you don't want it, that for some reason you know you cannot have it.
Such things can have the power to make the world stop, causing the ineminent destruction of one's persuit, goals and resolve little by little. You try to take it positively, but there'll be uncertainties and doubts.

So i guess its sometimes best to let things go.
Through tears, i mean.


-Peace