Father, I am Strong. Believe Me.

Something happened.
ALLAH swt loves him more.
Fate had come upon us.
There's nothing I can do.

Firstly, thanks to everyone who came.
Thanks for the moral support.
My grandparents, uncles, and aunts, thank you for everything.
I apologise for some of my uncontrolled behaviour.
All your words had been edged deeply into me.
I promise, I will be and is strong.

Father, you're a good man.
You've worked hard.
You've thought us well.
You are remembered by many.
Uncle quoted you (I think) that,
"if you want to know my real friends/family, wait till I die"
And the turnout yesterday,

was overwhelming.

I'm posting up an e-mail from my cousin.
Abg Rejal, thank you.
It means alot knowing how people sees my Father.
I've heard lots of other stories too,
let alone, many other words of encouragement.
Thank you

"
assalaamua'laikum!

dearest both of you,

:)

i have been contemplating hard as to whether i should share with you how sad i am in the passing of my beloved uncle. i fear that by sharing with you this, i may just as well open the wound in your hearts which at this point should be in the process of remedy - however difficult that may be.

but yet the pain that i feel is so immense that i need to perhaps let it out and that you may know that my uncle and your father is someone that we will always feel and remember with a sense of lost.

he feels the room wherever he goes - of course not by his sheer size, only, but more so by his warmth, easy going mannerism, laughter, jokes and all that we are to familiar with.

he was my favorite uncle and i am sure i am not the only one who share such sentiments.

when you guys were smaller, and our side of the family use to be more close knitted, cik sani was the person that i would always look up to, then (and of course i still do especially looking at you, his product and the testament of his good character that must have rub on you). he gave me plenty of advice while growing up and at this point in my life - i appreciate the things that he says even more now. i only wish, i could have been around him more often but alas, Allah is the best planner.

he was the most forthcoming of all uncles about the wedding too! which, i know will pain me so much that he will not be there. but don't worry about me (and kak huda) ok?

i will alway doa for him and i hope you both will continue to do that also. he has pass on, which all of us would one day encounter - at this point, i am very sure, his passing was a smooth one and he is at peace as I am writing this. yet, you must continue to pray for him - for the amal of someone carries on through 3 items (1) knowledge he has shared to others (2) wealth he has given in charity (3) children who are pious (soleh) that continues to pray for him.

munirah, there is nothing more you could do now but to pray for him. and be the sister, woman and muslimah that your father would have want you to be. he must be proud of you - i remembered while i was younger seeing the toils he went through yet the satisfaction in his eyes playing with you guys.

you are training to become a teacher now. he would have been so proud to see you walk in the graduation robe though how much he would remind you that he is not .... haha. i don't know.

but i am certainly proud of you and i hope you become the person he always wants you to be.

you must be strong too. i wanted to say that so much earlier, but my heart was still in pain that i had to choke back my own tears.

khidir, i am sure he would be proud to see you pass out. and i know how difficult it would be for you. but remember that it is not the presence of you dad in person that is important - but his good qualities, mannerism and akhlak that should be present on that day and for all days to come.

be the person that you are, and the person that your dad would want you to be. do know, that Allah does not set on a person something that in which he or she cannot overcome.

"On no soul doth Allah place a burden greater than it can bear" al baqarah:286

i see so much of him in you and you are turning into a fine young man, if not already - but there are always rooms for improvement ok :)

teruskan and make your mom proud. jaga mak dan adik-adik baik baik.

i am really happy looking at both of you. my uncle has done such a good job. i have always wish, all this while, that i will be as good of a father as he was.

at this point, i am concern about Musa and Harun - they will miss growing up with one less excellent figure in their life. both of you have such a task. i pray that Allah will strengthen and make you good role models for them as your father was for you, and us.

nuaimah, i hope, too will be well and be in peace through this difficult circumstance.

subhanallah. i have teared so many times writing this and i can only imagine how you both must be feeling.

may Allah gives you and the family strength, and brings you closer through this difficulty. i am always a message or call away - munirah, kak huda too if you need an older sister to confide to (she is good with girls - haha).

take care, and do well, both of you, in your studies and life in general - he would not expect anything less. both of you shall not disappoint as i know you won't.

always a call away,

"abang rejal" (i have always felt that "abang rejal" is a corny term) "



Bpak, don't worry about us.
Don't worry about me.
I'm stronger than what you see me as.
Believe in me.
You've thought me the things I need to know.
You've told me that I am already prepared for life the moment you gave me my driving licence.
I feel that I am.

I'll do my best, to be the man you want me to be.
I'll do my best, to ensure the things you've brought up would never fall.
I'll do my best, to ensure your expectations of our family will be fulfilled.
I'll do my best, to protect the things that needs to be protected.
I can promise you all that.
I will be strong.
I will not cry because i know you hate it when anyone cry.
I WILL Not Cry.

To be the head of the family, I'm ready.
Tenangkanlah hatimu itu.

Selamat Tinggal, Ayahandaku, Mohd Sani.
ALLAH swt sayang kamu.
KAMI sayang kamu.

Assalammua'laikum waramattullah hiwabarakkatu.